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debussybunny563
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Talking Yeah! - 10-20-2010, 09:07 PM

This is the rough draft for an essay about the Scarlet Letter. Poll is/will be added.

Some of the formatting may have changed ("the scarlet letter" isn't underlined, no indents, etc.), but it is still intact.

x is probably gonna have some criticism...

In the novel The Scarlet Letter, many things symbolic in nature are presented by Nathaniel Hawthorne that reflect the thoughts and ideals of his time. Throughout the book, Hawthorne represents various human ideas and philosophies by embodying them within the three main characters: Hester Prynne, Arthur Dimmesdale, and Roger Chillingworth. The interactions, mannerisms, and appearances of Hester, Dimmesdale, and Chillingworth reflect interactions within the physical, spiritual, and intellectual aspects of humanity, respectively, and should be valued as such. He shows that the spiritual is weak, the intellectual preys upon the spiritual, and ultimately the physical lasts out both.

Dimmesdale’s depiction is derogatory and practically sneers at the minister. His adulterous crime committed with Hester signifies the corruption within the Church’s institution itself, that such an act would happen with a respected clergyman. He cannot even bring it about himself to admit in public that he brought about such sin, though it must be admitted that he does later confess his guilt. This seems to show that religion is unwilling to express its own shortcomings and contrives to shade such corruption. Such is Dimmesdale’s own remorse that he punishes and disciplines himself almost to death. However, such behavior, while clearly demonstrative of his regret, does nothing to solidify his character, and conversely transitions into his deterioration from a pure minister into a wretched sinner. Hawthorne stresses how religion is so frail, inevitably collapsing upon itself, provoked and incited by itself, and corrupt within itself. However, the spiritual alone was not responsible for its demise.

The intellectual pursuit of humanity seeks to destroy and encourage religion’s suicide. While Dimmesdale feels remorse for his actions, the severity of his resulting behavior is inarguably administered by Chillingworth, a ruthless man who sought his revenge recklessly, yet with such precision. This situation is familiarized by the conflicts that have been had with religion, i.e. the Church. Most of these arguments had a trifling beginning; it was simply to prove something that perhaps the Church maybe misinterpreted or had an incorrect idea about. More significant reforms would follow, and eventually the simple idea would lead to a vicious preying upon the Church. Many, if not most teachings of science today indicate the beliefs of the world as taught through the Church are invariably false, and attack the Church’s explanations. Similarly, Chillingworth pursues Dimmesdale at first to simply be vengeful of his (possibly hidden) shame resulting from Hester’s unfaithfulness. Unfortunately, the thought of revenge and revenge alone begins to consume him, and thus is it his sole purpose of existence to leech the minister until his will is no more. It is comparable like such to say that the intellectual pursuits of man, a product of the vice of the Church, eventually harshly opposes the Church and seeks to attack all facets of its teachings. Of course, there is slight exaggeration, but nonetheless such a point can be clearly defined. It must be noted, however, in both cases, from the novel and in reality, the victim provokes its own destruction; the predator simply acts as a catalyst. But once the spiritual does expire, the intellectual has no more left to feed off of, therefore imploding as well.

This leaves the physical, outlasting the rest. Hawthorne’s personal ideals influence this greatly, as he was ashamed of his Puritan heritage, which emphasized the spiritual facet. Hawthorne appears to say that the physical nature of the human will ultimately survive, as humanity is supported by humans. The spiritual seeks to purify humanity, and the intellectual combats it and its corruption. Eventually those two will die out and reduce it to the physical, the raw human. For there will always be arguments among superfluous, intangible ideas, as they are inexplicable. Although humans may strive to procure such an understanding of things fathomed in the mind, it is almost certainly doomed to fail, and we can only observe and treasure what we truly know exists. Hester may have been guilt-ridden, and remained so throughout the novel, but it is ultimately the confession of her sin that relieves her of it, for then she has nothing to conceal, for it has already been revealed. However, Dimmesdale and Chillingworth are unable to let go of the act; the minister seals his guilt inside himself lest he be discovered and tears himself apart thus, and Chillingworth refuses to cease till he receives full revenge for the terrible sin. The ability of the physical to confess and continue with no enduring self-inflicted consequences is one that Hawthorne admires and praises.

How Hawthorne perceives the exchanges between the spiritual, intellectual, and physical settings of humanity is significant in understanding the story more cohesively, and understanding Hawthorne as the author and as a person. How religion is weak and preyed upon by intellectual “science” is emphatic and vital. Hawthorne sees it fit, though, that neither should be as ever-enduring as the human itself; its own resiliency determines its favorability in his eyes. And thus Hawthorne personifies the three aspects with a meaning that symbolizes the whole of humanity.


Last edited by debussybunny563; 12-21-2012 at 12:00 AM.

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Default 10-20-2010, 10:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by debussybunny563 View Post

In the novel The Scarlet Letter, many things symbolic in nature are presented by Nathaniel Hawthorne that reflect the thoughts and ideals of his time. Throughout the book, Hawthorne represents various human ideas and philosophies by embodying them within the three main characters: Hester Prynne, Arthur Dimmesdale, and Roger Chillingworth. The interactions, mannerisms, and appearances of Hester, Dimmesdale, and Chillingworth reflect interactions within the physical, spiritual, and intellectual aspects of humanity, respectively, and should be valued as such. He shows that the spiritual is weak, the intellectual preys upon the spiritual, and ultimately the physical lasts out both.
Never start a serious essay with "In the novel..." You intro should either state your thesis, introduce your thesis so it can be stated in the following sentence, or be something exciting regarding your subject material (a grabber). I agree that the Dimmesdale was weak, but he was strong enough to endure prolonged guilt as well as stand up for Hester and his daughter. I also think that you should mention that Chillingworth preyed on both Dimmesdale and Prynne, since he tried to guilt Hester just as badly as Arthur. Otherwise, good word flow, fair sentence structure, and no redundancy. Nice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by debussybunny563 View Post

Dimmesdale’s depiction is derogatory and practically sneers at the minister. His adulterous crime committed with Hester signifies the corruption within the Church’s institution itself, that such an act would happen with a respected clergyman. He cannot even bring it about himself to admit in public that he brought about such sin, though it must be admitted that he does later confess his guilt. This seems to show that religion is unwilling to express its own shortcomings and contrives to shade such corruption. Such is Dimmesdale’s own remorse that he punishes and disciplines himself almost to death. However, such behavior, while clearly demonstrative of his regret, does nothing to solidify his character, and conversely transitions into his deterioration from a pure minister into a wretched sinner. Hawthorne stresses how religion is so frail, inevitably collapsing upon itself, provoked and incited by itself, and corrupt within itself. However, the spiritual alone was not responsible for its demise.
I always thought of Dimmesdale as a man who looked good, who was thought of as good, and who basically was good, but who'd committed one horrible deed. This sort of man is not sneered upon, especially if they are truly repentant for their sin, which he obviously was. He even made his own scarlet letter on his bare chest out of pure guilt! I know Hawthorne had a cynical view of religion, though, so perhaps you're right in your reasoning. however, there is a stunning lack of source material to back up your reasoning. Get some quotes in there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by debussybunny563 View Post

The intellectual pursuit of humanity seeks to destroy and encourage religion’s suicide. While Dimmesdale feels remorse for his actions, the severity of his resulting behavior is inarguably administered by Chillingworth, a ruthless man who sought his revenge recklessly, yet with such precision. This situation is familiarized by the conflicts that have been had with religion, i.e. the Church. Most of these arguments had a trifling beginning; it was simply to prove something that perhaps the Church maybe misinterpreted or had an incorrect idea about. More significant reforms would follow, and eventually the simple idea would lead to a vicious preying upon the Church. Many, if not most teachings of science today indicate the beliefs of the world as taught through the Church are invariably false, and attack the Church’s explanations. Similarly, Chillingworth pursues Dimmesdale at first to simply be vengeful of his (possibly hidden) shame resulting from Hester’s unfaithfulness. Unfortunately, the thought of revenge and revenge alone begins to consume him, and thus is it his sole purpose of existence to leech the minister until his will is no more. It is comparable like such to say that the intellectual pursuits of man, a product of the vice of the Church, eventually harshly opposes the Church and seeks to attack all facets of its teachings. Of course, there is slight exaggeration, but nonetheless such a point can be clearly defined. It must be noted, however, in both cases, from the novel and in reality, the victim provokes its own destruction; the predator simply acts as a catalyst. But once the spiritual does expire, the intellectual has no more left to feed off of, therefore imploding as well.
Remove the red such. It doesn't appear to be needed.

The orange sentence is poorly worded compared to the rest of the essay. It should be re-written.

You refer to "The Church" a lot in your writing. You should clarify it to be Catholicism or Christendom or something along those lines. The Church doesn't specify any religion, therefore no teachings can be assigned to it for science to refute. Certain churches, for example, believe that God created man through evolution, a hybrid of scientific theory and religious teaching. As it stands you're assaulting a non-existent opponent.

Purple bit: "Like such" doesn't sound quite right. One of them should probably be removed, or preferably both of them, as neither seem necessary to the sentence.

Expand. How is intellectual progress a product of a vice of "the church?" The Lutheran religion was started because a group of people disagreed with the Roman Catholic Church, but science has been present regardless of religion. Chillingworh wasn't gifted with intelligence the moment Dimmesdale sinned, he was scientific and intellectual regardless.

"Feed off of" is not a valid English phrase. "Feed off" or "feed on" are acceptable and synonymous ("feed on" being preferable), but not "off of."

Quote:
Originally Posted by debussybunny563 View Post

This leaves the physical, outlasting the rest. Hawthorne’s personal ideals influence this greatly, as he was ashamed of his Puritan heritage, which emphasized the spiritual facet. Hawthorne appears to say that the physical nature of the human will ultimately survive, as humanity is supported by humans. The spiritual seeks to purify humanity, and the intellectual combats it and its corruption. Eventually those two will die out and reduce it to the physical, the raw human. For there will always be arguments among superfluous, intangible ideas, as they are inexplicable. Although humans may strive to procure such an understanding of things fathomed in the mind, it is almost certainly doomed to fail, and we can only observe and treasure what we truly know exists. Hester may have been guilt-ridden, and remained so throughout the novel, but it is ultimately the confession of her sin that relieves her of it, for then she has nothing to conceal, for it has already been revealed. However, Dimmesdale and Chillingworth are unable to let go of the act; the minister seals his guilt inside himself lest he be discovered and tears himself apart thus, and Chillingworth refuses to cease till he receives full revenge for the terrible sin. The ability of the physical to confess and continue with no enduring self-inflicted consequences is one that Hawthorne admires and praises.
Again, should be backed by quotes from the book.

Reword "for then she has nothing to conceal, for it has already been revealed," since wording it that way is redundant. I suggest leaving the part after the last comma out entirely.

Never abbreviate in a serious essay. Replace "till" with "until."

The wording of this paragraph borders on thesaurus-ridden (i. e. too many big, semi-relevant, unorthodox words). I wouldn't take off points for it if I was an English teacher, but it does make for less readability. Consider rewording, but don't simplify too much.

I personally think that leaving intangible thoughts for physical ones would put us on the same level as the animals crawling in the dirt around us. But that's just me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by debussybunny563 View Post

How Hawthorne perceives the exchanges between the spiritual, intellectual, and physical settings of humanity is significant in understanding the story more cohesively, and understanding Hawthorne as the author and as a person. How religion is weak and preyed upon by intellectual “science” is emphatic and vital. Hawthorne sees it fit, though, that neither should be as ever-enduring as the human itself; its own resiliency determines its favorability in his eyes. And thus Hawthorne personifies the three aspects with a meaning that symbolizes the whole of humanity.
Remove "And" from in front of "thus" in the last sentence and insert a comma after it.

The last sentence, "a meaning that symbolizes" seems off somehow. If you like it, leave it, otherwise consider rewording.

I think changing "as the author" to "as an author" is wise to promote word flow.

I think that, since in the book religion does little to fight back, but in reality the religious and intellectual types are constantly clashing, a sentence indicating conflict between the two, not a predator-prey relationship, would be more appropriate when discussing its reflection on the real world.

Good start for an essay. Much better than many I've seen on similar subjects. I'd guess a grade of 82-90 as is. Nice job, dubs.
   
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Default 10-22-2010, 11:33 AM

So, what's next? Are you going to post and tell what grade you got?
   
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Post 10-22-2010, 02:19 PM

Eventually, but I won't be handed back the rough draft till next week, so I'll just hang tight for now.


Last edited by debussybunny563; 12-21-2012 at 12:00 AM.

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Got it back
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Arrow Got it back - 10-25-2010, 07:09 AM

Notes from Mr. Rak:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Rak
This is a wonderful draft. You've taken a very complex topic and given it a great deal of insight and analysis. Very will done. As far a revision goes, I have one question for you: Where's the proof?

You make a lot of interesting and insightful claims about the text, but we need specific textual evidence to support them. Look for direct quotes and paraphrasings with page numbers to include in each body paragraph to further enhance your argument. Just to be sure to explain how the evidence proves/supports/demonstrates the point you're trying to make in that paragraph and in the paper as a whole. Looking at specific moments from the text instead of just general summary will add both substance and strength to your argument.

Again, very nice work here, ----. But a writer's work is never done. Look to strengthen this by adding specific textual evidence and adding analysis specific to it. Good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by x the ibex
however, there is a stunning lack of source material to back up your reasoning. Get some quotes in there.
Spot on, mate.


Last edited by debussybunny563; 12-21-2012 at 12:00 AM.

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Default 10-25-2010, 07:51 PM

I took AP English. Aced the class and got a 4 on the exam. That should be good for something, right?
   
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Default 10-25-2010, 09:08 PM

Wow! That is incredible x!


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Final Grade
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Thumbs up Final Grade - 11-05-2010, 02:13 PM

Got a 100% on it. Booyah.



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Number at left is the total points, number in the middle is how many points I got, and far right is the percentage.


Last edited by debussybunny563; 12-21-2012 at 12:00 AM.

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Default 11-05-2010, 02:50 PM

Good job.


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Cool 11-05-2010, 02:55 PM

Danke.


Last edited by debussybunny563; 12-21-2012 at 12:00 AM.

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